Security concerns mean that I stop carrying around my beautifully adorned HP laptop, leaving it to rot in one of those maximum-security forts that the Pretorians call 'average suburban households' while I go off impressing men and seducing women.
This leaves me feeling somewhat naked, however, and the missing five kilograms on my right side (my laptop case doubling as a carry-everything-you-own manbag at most times) has left me rather unbalanced and dangerously stooping to the left.
Some of my recent activities have touched upon the more chilled-out sectors of Pretoria's night life, including such environs as Tings an' Times and a Cool Runnings hangout in Hatfield. Both have a distinct Jamaican vibe, and the latter also sports a pool table, foosball table and hubbly (hookah) rentals from the bar. This is pretty awesome, mainly because you don't have sweaty, gel-spiked jocks brushing up against you on a near-constant basis. Just be sure to get in when it's not too busy – especially if you want to benefit from Cool Running's sweet little extras.